


Hit That

by Epiphanyx7



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-11
Updated: 2009-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 01:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epiphanyx7/pseuds/Epiphanyx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean isn't imagining the way Castiel is looking shiftier and shiftier. "You would have her sin, regardless," Castiel says, after a long minute of uncomfortable silences and accusatory glares. "Would it not be better for her to choose love?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit That

**Author's Note:**

> No plot, just some conversation. I can't tell if this is fluff or crack or serious fic, but it was fun to write. Should be spoiler-free for Season 5, but I can't be sure.

"I think she likes you," Dean says, nodding at the short, curvy brunette as she walks - saunters, really, a bit of swing in her hips - away from the table. She's a little heavy for his own tastes, he likes his girls a little taller, more muscular -- but she has a great rack, and sort of a soft padded look to her that meant she'd be luxuriously sexy once you got her out of her clothes. "You wanna hit that, right Cas? You totally should."

And Cas gives him the Look, the one that says _Show Me Some Respect_ , and then he switches it up for the more average _What Is Wrong With Your Brain, Dean_ , look that he sometimes gets. He does the head tilt, too, but Dean tries not to find that adorable. "I see no reason why I would want to strike her," Cas says, disapprovingly. "You ought to curb your violent instincts, Dean."

Dean totally cracks up at this, because the angel has managed to get sarcasm and even outright lies through his thick skull, but slang and double meanings totally escape him. Still smiling, Dean takes a bite of his burger while he assimilates Cas' complete inability to function like a human being. "I _meant_ ," he says, after swallowing ostentatiously and taking a sip or two of his beer. "That you should like -- do her. Get it on. Get rid of that angel V-card you've been caryrying around--" and because he can see Cas reaching for his wallet with his confused-face on, he adds, " _Metaphorically_ , I mean. Jesus. Sorry. I mean, Je-- whatever."

Finally getting it, Cas continues to look disapproving. "You are making crude remarks." he says, but it sounds almost like a question.

"Uh, _yeah_ ," Dean replies, rolling his eyes and stuffing the last of his burger into his mouth. He manages to squeeze a fry in there, too, and then he spends the next couple of seconds chewing furiously while Cas contemplates his words.

"No," Castiel says, finally.

Dean really can't help laughing at that; Cas is so serious, it's almost like he had actually been contemplating hooking up with her. Dean, on the other hand, was just messing with him -- considering the way Cas acts around girls,  it's gonna be quite a while before he's going to do the casual hookup thing. "It was worth a shot, she _seriously_ needs to let off some steam," Dean laughs. "But seriously, you're gonna get it on with a chick someday, though, right? Before the end of the world?"

"Why do you say that?" Cas asks.

"Dude," Dean says. "You have no idea what you're missing out on. People get bitchy and shit when they haven't gotten any in a while. It's like ---"

"Considering your promiscuity, it's a wonder you're not cheerful all the time," Castiel interrupts, and Dean chokes on a french fry.

"What the fuck did you just say?" He asks, and waves impatiently at Cas when he looks like he's going to repeat himself. "I mean -- wait, what-- why do you think I'm a skank?" Because he's seriously not a skank, and the only reason anyone would think so is if they're talking to Sammy.

Behind Cas, the brunette is having a conversation with a freckle-faced redhead. The readhead, Dean notes, is sort of hot. He ignores Castiel in favour of looking at her ass, which, upon furthur inspection, proves to be "bootylicious".

"You have an unusually high number of sexual partners," Castiel says, _politely_ , for fuck's sake.

Dean stares at him. And then behind him. He looks at Castiel's vaguely-innocent-nobody-suspects-the-Angel-of-the-Lord face and the two chicks who are all into each other's space right behind him. "Dude," Dean says. "Did you just use your angel-mojo to set that chick up with another chick?"

Castiel looks guilty for a moment. "The end of the world is nigh," he says, ominously. "Lucifer has risen, and---"

"You're getting defensive," Dean said. "Did I know you could do that? Because if you manage to get yourself invited to that party and leave me here, I will actually give you a high five the next time we meet. Scout's honour,"

"You were never a Boy Scout," Cas reminds him, reprovingly. "I do not understand you, Dean."

"Isn't that shit a sin?" Dean says, waving at the two girls who are currently indulging in the most pornographic hand-holding he's ever seen. And that shit shouldn't be hot at all, but they're making eyes at each other and the brush of fingertips over open palms is slow and sensual. Dean's not getting hard, or at least, not seriously hard, but it's two chicks so nobody can blame him.

Dean isn't imagining the way Castiel is looking shiftier and shiftier. "You would have her sin, regardless," Castiel says, after a long minute of uncomfortable silences and accusatory glares. "Would it not be better for her to choose love?"

"Dude," Dean said. " _Sin,_ "

And Castiel glares at him. " _Love_ ," he replies. "The world is ending, Dean, and those women will not have more than a few days of happiness given to them out of the years they have been on this earth. I might have laid down with her -- but she would not have been happy, and my heart would have been heavy afterward. This way is better, and it would do you well to remember it, even if you do prefer a casual fuck to --"

Dean chokes on his beer this time, managing to spit it all over the table in front of him instead of actually dying, but from the expression on Cas' face as the angel wipes beer from his sleeve, he really ought to work on that. "The hell did you _just say?_ " Dean sputters.

Castiel's expression is as placid as ever. "I said, that perhaps your way is not the best way," He says, carefully choosing his words.

"That's not what you said," Dean protests, pointing the mouth of his beer bottle at the angel sitting accross from him. "You said _\-- you said a bad word,_ " and Castiel looks placid and expasperated.

"Ninety-eight percent of the time," Castiel says, his jaw tight, "If either yourself or your brother asks 'what did you say' or any variation of the question, it is because you are asking for clarification on my initial point." When Dean doesn't respond to that, he adds "the other two percent of the time, you are asking me to repeat what I have said because you did not hear me. Considering the level of noise in this room and our relative proximity, I assumed the former."

"I heard you," Dean says. He takes a calming sip of his beer, making a face because he's almost finished and it's getting warm. "I mean -- you _just said_ ,"

"That you would prefer a casual fuck to a meaningful relationship," Castiel adds, nodding.

Dean manages to only choke on his beer a little bit this time. "Dude," He said. "Seriously."

"Samuel assures me that my usage of the term is correct," Castiel's eyebrows are pinched together, the closest he ever gets to being worried. "Is this not so?"

Dean laughs and tips back his beer, draining the bottle in three quick swallows. He's still laughing when he puts the bottle down, the smile on his face stretching even wider when he sees Cas in front of him, expression serene as ususal. "No, your use of the term's definitely the right one," He says, and then he starts laughing again.

-  



End file.
